So，because I had apologized and sympathized with her pointof view，she began apologizing and sympathizing with my point of view，I had the satisfaction of controlling my temper，the satisfaction of returning kindness for an insult.I got infinitely more real fun out of making her like me than I could ever have gotten out of telling her to go and take a jump in the Schuylkill River，Every man who occupies the White House is faced almost daily with thorny problems in human relations.President Taft was no exception，and he learned from experience the enormous chemical value of sympathy in neutralizing the acid of hard feelings.In his book Ethics in Service，Taft gives rather an amusing illustration of how he softened the ire of a disappointed and ambitious mother.
“A lady in Washington，”wrote Taft，“whose husband had some political influence，came and labored with me for six weeks or more to appoint her son to a position.She secured the aid of Senators and Congressmen in formidable number and came with them to see that they spoke with emphasis.The place was one requiring technical qualification，and following the recommendation of the head of the Bureau，I appointed somebody else.I then received a letter from the mother，saying that I was most ungrateful，since I declined to make her a happy woman as I could have done by a turn of my hand.She complained further that she had labored with her state delegation and got all the votes for an administration bill in which I was especially interested and this was the way I had rewarded her.
“When you get a letter like that，the first thing you do is to think how you can be severe with a person who has committed an impropriety，or even been a little impertinent.Then you may compose an answer.Then if you are wise，you will put the letter in a drawer and lock the drawer.Take it out in the course of two days—such communications will always bear two days’delay in answering—and when you take it out after that interval，you will not send it.That is just the course I took.After that，I sat down and wrote her just as polite a letter as I could，telling her I realized a mother’s disappointment under such circumstances，but that really the appointment was not left to my mere personal preference，that I had to select a man with technical qualifications，and had，therefore，to follow the recommendations of the head of the Bureau.I expressed the hope that her son would go on to accomplish what she had hoped for him in the position which he then had.That mollified her and she wrote me a note saying she was sorry she had written as she had.
“But the appointment I sent in was not confirmed at once，andafter an interval I received a letter which purported to come fromher husband，though it was in the the same handwriting as all the others.I was therein advised that，due to the nervous prostration that had followed her disappointment in this case，she had to take to her bed and had developed a most serious case of cancer of the stomach.Would I not restore her to health by withdrawing the first name and replacing it by her son’s？I had to write another letter，this one to the husband，to say that I hoped the diagnosis would prove to be inaccurate，that I sympathized with him in the sorrow he must have in the serious illness of his wife，but that it was impossible to withdraw the name sent in.The man whom I appointed was confirmed，and within two days after I received that letter，we gave a musicale at the White House.The first two people to greet Mrs.Taft and me were this husband and wife，though the wife had so recently been in articulo mortis.”
Sol Hurok was probably America’s number one impresario.For almost half a century he handled artists—such world-famous artists as Chaliapin，Isadora Duncan，and Pavlova.Mr.Hurok told me that one of the first lessons he had learned in dealing with his temperamental stars was the necessity for sympathy，sympathy and more sympathy with their idiosyncrasies.
For three years，he was impresario for Feodor Chaliapin—one of the greatest bassos who ever thrilled the ritzy boxholders at the Metropolitan，Yet Chaliapin was a constant problem.He carried on like a spoiled child.To put it in Mr.Hurok’s own inimitable phrase：“He was a hell of a fellow in every way.”
For example，Chaliapin would call up Mr.Hurok about noun of the day he was going to sing and say，“Sol，I feel terrible.My throat is like raw hamburger.It is impossible for me to sing tonight.”Did Mr.Hurok argue with him？Oh，no.He knew that an entrepreneur couldn’t handle artists that way.So he would rush over to Chaliapin’s hotel，dripping with sympathy.“What apity，”he would mourn.“What a pity！My poor fellow.Of course，you cannot sing.I will cancel the engagement at once.It will only cost you a couple of thousand dollars，but that is nothing in comparison to your reputation.”
Then Chaliapin would sigh and say，“Perhaps you had bettercome over later in the day.Come at five and see how I feel then.”
At five o’clock，Mr.Hurok would again rush to his hotel，dripping with sympathy.Again he would insist on canceling the engagement and again Chaliapin would sigh and say，“Well，maybe you had better come to see me later.I may be better then.”At seven-thirty the great basso would consent to sing，only with the understanding that Mr.Hurok would walk out on the stage of the Metropolitan and announce that Chaliapin had a very bad cold and was not in good voice.Mr.Hurok would lie and say he would do it，for he knew that was the only way to get the bassoout on the stage.
Dr.Arthur I.Gates said in his splendid book Educational Psychology：“Sympathy the human species universally craves.The child eagerly displays his injury；or even inflicts a cut or bruise in order to reap abundant sympathy.For the same purpose adults...show their bruises，relate their accidents，illness，especially details of surgical operations.‘self-pity’for misfortunes real or imaginary is in some measure，practically a universal practice.”
