At that second I couldn' t control myself anymore. The salty tears glided down my face. I didn' t talk. I just went crazy and I started screaming, but I didn' t say a word. I became crazy. I couldn' t breath, because he was the air I was breathing, he was the happiness that was keeping me alive, he was the friend that I respected more than a brother, more than anybody else. And now he' s not there anymore, he' s gone. It' s just the letter and me.
Two weeks had passed after his death, and I was still depressed, angry, sick, and almost lifeless. I couldn' t understand what was going on around me. Everything was an illusion. I wasn' t eating, drinking, nor doing anything. For twenty-four hours I was lying on my bed, thinking about what am I going to do. I couldn' t talk to anyone, because l didn' t want to. I wanted to be alone all day, remember the good times we had.
And I finally decided to open the letter he gave me. In the letter he said,"Don' t be silly and don' t cry. I know how you feel, but you know what, your life is not over yet. You have to understand that life is tough, and you just have to get used to it, fight it, and get whatever you want. I know that life is beautiful, and I only had a short time to experience it. You got to get yourself ready to continue your life, because only then I can look down at you with pride. You have to understand the fact that you' re the person who makes everyone smile, you share their problems, understand, and love. You have to be yourself. I will miss you, and I know you won' t forget me... I guess this is goodbye, but I don' t want to say that, I' ll just say I' ll see you later."
After reading the letter, my heart filled with lightness. The idea of continuing my life, as he had said, gave me the power to start everything from the beginning. I learned many lessons from this event. For instance, that true friends can never be replaced by anyone else, and they' re never forgotten. I understood that the friendship is a gift, and nothing in the world can come between real friendship. Yes, I had a lot of emotional disturbances within myself, but at the end, I actually understood that everything happens for a reason. I have accepted the fact that my friend is not with me anymore, but I' m sure that he will always live inside of me. As long as he' s in my memories, he' s part of me, and I take his presence as a source of pride.
与损失几百万美元相比，失去一个无法替代的好朋友要令人伤心得多。那次克服情感困扰的骗历对我造成了深远的影响，它让我懂得一些事情是无法忘记的，有一种友谊是无法代替的。当最好的朋友告诉我他患了肺癌时，我的生活彻底改变了。我知道我将要失去他，然而，我没有想到，克服失去他的那种痛苦竟是如此艰难。
我们是朋友，不仅仅是一般的朋友，而是最要好的朋友，这足以解释所有的事情。所有的事情我们都一起做，如踢足球、弹钢琴、弹吉他、在大街上散步、疯玩，从家里出逃到一个地方躲起来，周一逃学去准备聚会。
我们一起度过了最美妙的时光，不幸的是，生活带走了这一切。他相信生活，他知道如何逗我开心，他是我生命中非常重要的人。有时候，我会问自己，为什么得癌症的是他，是我最好的朋友。他愿意做一切可能的妥D来巩固我们之间的友谊，他是我心中永远的朋友。
1999年4月14日的夜晚，是我一辈子也无法忘记的日子。他泪流满面地出现在我的面前，看起来悲痛欲绝。我问他：“发生了什么事情，怎么这么难过？”
他缓慢地说：“我快要我快要”
他沉默了。事实上，我还不知道将要发生什么，但他知道，因为在生命的最后几个月，他一直呼吸困难。在看医生之前，他并不是很担心。我看着他的双眼，看到他蓝色的眼睛里充满了梦想破碎之后的茫然。我明白发生了什么事，然而我没哭，因为我知道这样只会使他的感情受到伤害。我又看看他，说：“你只要好好地照顾自己，一切都会好起来的。”然而，伤心的火焰一直煎熬着我的内心，眼泪几乎夺眶而出。但是，我知道自己很坚强，能够把悲伤压在心底。
后来，我们讲了笑话，但是我记不清讲的是什么了。为了能够让他露出笑容，帮他赶走伤感的情绪，我开始给他讲一些真正好玩的笑话。他终于开怀大笑，但是也咳嗽起来。那是我最后一次看他大笑，笑得那样开心，也那样悲伤。
当天晚上，我接到了他的电话，他感觉自己情况不好，想要我去看他。我们一直都是彼此陪伴，所以我去了。他肤色苍白，蓝色的眼睛中也没有了以前那种快乐的光彩。我试图欺骗自己，脑子里不断地重复着一切都很好。他确实快要离我而去了，我却无法让自己相信这个事实。
最后，他想我们两个人单独待一会儿，让其他人都离开，那是凌晨2:30。他开始跟我说话：“我明白接下来将要发生的事情，但是别担心上帝会照顾我的，我将会很好的。不要伤心，我们还会重逢，对不对？”
他要我紧紧地握住他的手，告诉我说，不管发生什么事情，我们的友谊将会地久天长。他给我一封信，并说道：“当你觉得应该看的时候，就把它打开吧。”我闭上了双眼，几秒钟之后，我感觉到他的脉搏停止了跳动，一股寒流穿过我的手掌。他丢下了一切，蓝色的眼睛已骗合上了，我再也无法让它们注视着我了。
那个时候，我再也无法控制自己的感情，咸咸的泪水划过脸颊。我一言不发，声嘶力竭地大喊大叫，却一句话也说不出来，就像一个疯子。他就是我呼吸的空气、幸福生活的源泉，没有了他，我再也无法呼吸。他是我所尊敬的一个朋友，这种尊敬超过了兄长和其他任何人。现在，他已骗走了，已骗不在了，只留下我和那封信。
他离开我已骗两个星期了，我仍然无法从伤心和愤画中挣脱出来，我一副病恹恹的样子，毫无生气。我不明白身边所发生的事情，一切就像一场梦。我不吃不喝，什么也不做，只是整日整夜地躺在床上，思考着将来要做些什么。我不能跟任何人说话，因为我不想说话。整天，我只想独自一人回忆我们一起度过的时光。
最后，我决定打开他留给我的那封信。信中他这样说：“不要犯傻，不要哭。你的感受我能够理解，但是，你要明白自己的生活仍在继续。你必须懂得生活的艰难，然后去适应、去奋斗，争取自己想要的东西。我知道生命的美好，然而，只拥有短暂的时光来体验。我想要自豪地看着你，只有你作好继续生活的准备，我才能如愿。你要明白，要做这样的一个人：能让所有人笑逐颜开，能分担他们的烦恼，分享他们的爱。你一定要照顾好自己，我会想你的，我知道你也不会忘记我尽管是永别，但是我不想这样说，我只好对你说再会了。”
读完这封信，我的心情变得明朗起来。正如他所说的那样，“让生活继续”给了我重新开始一切的力量。骗历了这件事情以后，我懂得了许多。比如，真正的朋友永远不可能被任何人取代，也永远不会忘记彼此。我明白了，友谊是生活赐予的礼物，它比世界上任何事物都要珍贵。是的，我曾骗被许多感情所困扰，不过，我最后还是明白了，每件事情的发生都有它的画因。我已骗能够面对朋友离开自己的事实，但是他会永远活在我的心里，对此我深信不疑。只要他仍旧存在于我的记忆中，就是我生命中不可分割的一部分，就是我一生的骄傲。
女儿，再见
My Allie
桑迪·基恩·谢尔顿 / Sandi Kahn Shelton
My daughter Allie is leaving for college in a week. Her room is cluttered with shopping bags filled with blankets, towels, jeans, sweaters.
She won' t talk about going.
I say,"I' m going to miss you," and she gives me one of her looks and leaves the room. Another time I say, in a voice so friendly it surprises even me:"Do you think you' ll take your posters and pictures with you, or will you get new ones at college?"
She answers, her voice filled with annoyance, "How should I know?"
My daughter is off with friends most of the time. Yesterday was the last day she' d have until Christmas with her friend Katharine, whom she' s known since kindergarten. Soon, it will be her last day with Sarah, Claire, Heather... and then it will be her last day with me.
My friend Karen told me,"The August before I left for college, I screamed at my mother the whole month. Be prepared."
