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第5章 DO YOU ENJOY THE TELEPHONE?[1]

Some time ago I talked to you about slavery in a barber's shop.Today I will talk about another form of slavery:I mean being a slave to the telephone.

If you have seen telephoning[2] in the movies[3] but have never talked on the telephone yourself,you cannot possibly know the meaning of being a slave to the telephone.On the screen[4] the telephonic system[5] is a perfect one.The man,or the woman,just snatches the receiver[6]and speaks,"Hullo...yes...please...all right...thank you...good-bye".There seems to be no delay,no indistinctness[7] of sound,no wrong number,no "engaged"[8] - in a word,[9]no slavery.

In real life,however,telephoning is quite a different thing.The number is often wrong,though oftener right.The right number is often "engaged",though oftener not "engaged".

Granting[10] that the number is right and is not "engaged",still[11]there is much slavery."I wish to speak to Mr Wang",you say.But you get the reply "Here we have no Mr Fang"."I wish to speak to Mr Wang",you say again,with emphasis[12] on Wang.But you get the reply "Here we've[13] twenty Wangs"."I mean Mr A.B.Wang",you say.But you get the reply "Here we've two Mr A.B.Wangs"."I mean the one who is rather tall but not very tall,who sometimes wears a blue silk gown but always a low-crowned[14]hat,and who is a native of Shanghai",you say.But you get the reply "And may I know your name"? You say your name three or four times and then wait,wait,wait.[15] When waiting,you are a perfect[16] slave.You are not allowed to read a book,nor to write a letter,nor to have a cup of tea,nor even to build castles in the air.[17]You can only imagine how the man at the other end of the line[18] is going to tell Mr A.B.Wang and how Mr A.B.Wang is hastening to the telephone.

At last,fortunately,you hear Mr A.B.Wang speaking.Then you two begin to talk - but I do not think so easily as those in the movies.Indistinctness of sound,repetition,misunderstanding,[19] annoyance[20] - all these are highly probable.

I am glad that I do not often have to talk on the telephone.I wonder why some people like to telephone as often as they have the least occasion.[21] I know a little boy who rings up[22] his father in his office more than ten times a day.Of course,[23]he enjoys doing it.

注释

[1]telephone:电话机;电话

[2]telephoning:打电话

[3]movies:电影

[4]screen:银幕

[5]telephonic system:电话之组机

[6]snatches the receiver:执住听筒

[7]indistinctness:不清爽;糊涂

[8]engaged:有人正在打电话(即电话占线)

[9]in a word:总而言之

[10]granting:假定

[11]still:仍;但

[12]emphasis:着重

[13]we've = we have

[14]low-crowned:低冠的

[15]wait,wait,wait:继续等待

[16]perfect:完全的;纯粹的

[17]build castles in the air:冥想;空想

[18]line:电线

[19]misunderstanding:误解

[20]annoyance:困恼

[21]have the least occasion:虽只有极微之理由

[22]rings up:用电话唤

[23]of course:当然

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