One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation，Somehow，we neglect to praise our son or daughter when he or she brings home a good report card，and we fail to encourage our children when they first succeed in baking a cake or building a birdhouse.Nothing pleases children more than this kind of parental interest and approval.
The next time you enjoy filet mignon at the club，send word to the chef that it was excellently prepared，and when a tired salesperson shows you unusual courtesy，please mention it.
Every minister，lecturer and public speaker knows the discouragement of pouring himself or herself out to an audience and not receiving a single ripple of appreciative comment.What applies to professionals applies doubly to workers in offices，shops and factories and our families and friends.In our interpersonal relations we should never forget that all our associates are human beings and hunger for appreciation.It is the legal tender that all souls enjoy.
Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips.You will be surprised how they will set small flames of friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit.
Hurting people not only does not change them，it is never called for.There is an old saying that I have cut out and pasted on my mirror where I cannot help but see it every day：
I shall pass this way but once；any good，therefore，that I cando or any kindness that I can show to any human being，let me do it now.Let me not defer nor neglect it，for I shall not pass this way again.
Emerson said：“Every man I meet is my superior in some way，In that，I learn of him.”
If that was true of Emerson，isn’t it likely to be a thousand times more true of you and me？Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments，our wants.Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points.Then forget flattery.Give honest，sincere appreciation.Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise，”and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime—repeat them years after you have forgotten them.
PRINCIPLE 2：
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Chapter 3
“He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World With Him.He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely Way”
I often went fishing up in Maine during the summer.Personally I am very fond of strawberries and cream，but I have found that for some strange reason，fish prefer worms.So when I went fishing，I didn’t think about what I wanted.I thought about what they wanted.I didn’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream.Rather，I dangled a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said：“Wouldn’t you like to have that？”
Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people？That is what Lloyd George，Great Britain’s Prime Minister during World War I，did.When someone asked him how he managed to stay in power after the other wartime leaders—Wilson，Orlando and Clemenceau—had been forgotten，he replied that if his staying on top might be attributed to any one thing，it would be to his having learned that it was necessary to bait thehook to suit the fish.
Why talk about what we want？That is childish.Absurd.Of course，you are interested in what you want.You are eternally interested in it.But no one else is.The rest of us are just like you：we are interested in what we want.
So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something.If，for example，you don’t want your children to smoke，don’t preach at them，and don’t talk about whatyou want；but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making the basketball team or winning the hundred-yard dash.
This is a good thing to remember regardless of whether you are dealing with children or calves or chimpanzees.For example：one day Ralph Waldo Emerson and his son tried to get a calf into the barn.But they made the common mistake of thinking only of what they wanted：Emerson pushed and his son pulled.But the calf was doing just what they were doing；he was thinking only of what he wanted；so he stiffened his legs and stubbornly refused to leave the pasture.The Irish housemaid saw their predicament.She couldn’t write essays and books；but，on this occasion at least，she had more horse sense，or calf sense，than Emerson had.She thought of what the calf wanted；so she put her maternal finger in the calf’s mouth and let the calf suck her finger as she gently led him into the barn.
Every act you have ever performed since the day you were born was performed because you wanted something.How about the time you gave a large contribution to the Red Cross？Yes，that is no exception to the rule.You gave the Red Cross the donation because you wanted to lend a helping hand；you wanted to do a beautiful，unselfish，divine act.“Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren，ye have done it unto me.”
If you hadn’t wanted that feeling more than you wanted your money，you would not have made the contribution.Of course，you might have made the contribution because you were ashamed to refuse or because a customer asked you to do it.But one thing is certain.You made the contribution because you wanted something.
Harry A.Overstreet in his illuminating book Influencing Human Behavior said：“Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire...and the best piece of advice which can be given to would-be persuaders，whether in business，in the home，in the school，in politics，is：First，arouse in the other person an eager want.He who can do this has the whole world with him.He who cannot walks a lonely way.”
Andrew Carnegie，the poverty-stricken Scotch lad who started to work at two cents an hour and finally gave away？365million，learned early in life that the only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants.He attended school only four years；yet he learned how to handle people.
