"But Irene had promised to come every two hours; and when she came about four o'clock and I saw she was crying, it sort of blinded me, sir, and I stumbled against a member, Mr. B----, and he said, 'Damn you!' Well, sir, I had but touched him after all, and I was so broken it sort of stung me to be treated so and Ilost my senses, and I said, 'Damn you!'"
His shamed head sank on his chest, and I think some of the readers shuddered in their sleep.
"I was turned out of the dining-room at once, and sent here until the committee have decided what to do with me. Oh, sir, I am willing to go on my knees to Mr. B----"How could I but despise a fellow who would be thus abject for a pound a week?
"For if I have to tell her I have lost my place she will just fall back and die.""I forbid your speaking to me of that woman," I cried wryly, "unless you can speak pleasantly," and I left him to his fate and went off to look for B----. "What is this story about your swearing at one of the waiters?" I asked him.
"You mean about his swearing at me," said B----, reddening.
"I am glad that was it," I said, "for I could not believe you guilty of such bad form. The version which reached me was that you swore at each other, and that he was to be dismissed and you reprimanded.""Who told you that?" asked B----, who is a timid man.
"I am on the committee," I replied lightly, and proceeded to talk of other matters, but presently B----, who had been reflecting, said: "Do you know I fancy I was wrong in thinking that the waiter swore at me, and I shall withdraw the charge to-morrow."I was pleased to find that William's troubles were near an end without my having to interfere in his behalf, and I then remembered that he would not be able to see the girl Irene from the library windows, which are at the back of the club. I was looking down at her, but she refrained from signalling because she could not see William, and irritated by her stupidity I went out and asked her how her mother was.
"My," she ejaculated after a long scrutiny of me, "I b'lieve you are one of them!" and she gazed at me with delighted awe. Isuppose William tells them of our splendid doings.
The invalid, it appeared, was a bit better, and this annoying child wanted to inform William that she had took all the tapiocar. She was to indicate this by licking an imaginary plate in the middle of Pall Mall. I gave the little vulgarian a shilling, and returned to the club disgusted.
"By the way, William," I said, "Mr. B---- is to inform the committee that he was mistaken in thinking you used improper language to him, so you will doubtless be restored to the dining-room to- morrow."I had to add immediately, "Remember your place, William.""But Mr. B---- knows I swore," he insisted.
"A gentleman," I replied stiffly, "cannot remember for many hours what a waiter has said to him.""No, sir, but--"
To stop him I had to say, "And--ah--William, your wife is decidedly better. She has eaten the tapioca--all of it.""How can you know, sir?"
"By an accident."
"Irene signed to the window?"
"No."
"Then you saw her and went out and--"
"How dare you, William?"
"Oh, sir, to do that for me! May God bl--"
"William."
He was reinstated in the dining-room, but often when I looked at him I seemed to see a dying wife in his face, and so the relations between us were still strained. But I watched the girl, and her pantomime was so illuminating that I knew the sufferer had again cleaned the platter on Tuesday, had attempted a boiled egg on Wednesday (you should have seen Irene chipping it in Pall Mall, and putting in the salt), but was in a woful state of relapse on Thursday.
"Is your mother very ill to-day, Miss Irene?" I asked, as soon as I had drawn her out of range of the club-windows.
"My!" she exclaimed again, and I saw an ecstatic look pass between her and a still smaller girl with her, whom she referred to as a neighbour.
I waited coldly. William's wife, I was informed, had looked like nothing but a dead one till she got the brandy.
"Hush, child," I said, shocked. "You don't know how the dead look.""Bless yer!" she replied.
Assisted by her friend, who was evidently enormously impressed by Irene's intimacy with me, she gave me a good deal of miscellaneous information, as that William's real name was Mr. Hicking, but that he was known in their street, because of the number of his shirts, as Toff Hicking. That the street held he should get away from the club before two in the morning, for his missus needed him more than the club needed him. That William replied (very sensibly) that if the club was short of waiters at supper-time some of the gentlemen might be kept waiting for their marrow- bone. That he sat up with his missus most of the night, and pretended to her that he got some nice long naps at the club.
That what she talked to him about mostly was the kid. That the kid was in another part of London (in charge of a person called the old woman), because there was an epidemic in Irene's street.
"And what does the doctor say about your mother?""He sometimes says she would have a chance if she could get her kid back.""Nonsense."
"And if she was took to the country."
"Then why does not William take her?"
"My! And if she drank porty wine."
"Doesn't she?"
"No. But father, he tells her 'bout how the gentlemen drinks it."I turned from her with relief, but she came after me.
