Toad rather suspected what he was after, and did his best to get away; but when the Badger took him firmly by the other arm he began to see that the game was up. The two animals conducted him between them into the small smoking-room that opened out of the entrance-hall, shut the door, and put him into a chair. Then they both stood in front of him, while Toadsat silent and regarded them with much suspicion and ill-humour.
`Now, look here, Toad,' said the Rat. `It's about this Banquet, and very sorry I am to have to speak to you like this. But we want you to understand clearly, once and for all, that there are going to be no speeches and no songs. Try and grasp the fact that on this occasion we're not arguing with you; we're just telling you.'
Toad saw that he was trapped. They understood him, they saw through him, they had got ahead of him. His pleasant dream was shattered.
`Mayn't I sing them just one LITTLE song?' he pleaded piteously.
`No, not ONE little song,' replied the Rat firmly, though his heart bled as he noticed the trembling lip of the poor disappointed Toad. `It's no good, Toady; you know well that your songs are all conceit and boasting and vanity; and your speeches are all self-praise and--and--well, and gross exaggeration and-- and----'
`And gas,' put in the Badger, in his common way.
`It's for your own good, Toady,' went on the Rat. `You know you MUST turn over a new leaf sooner or later, and now seems a splendid time to begin; a sort of turning-point in your career. Please don't think that saying all this doesn't hurt me more than it hurts you.'
Toad remained a long while plunged in thought. At last he raised his head, and the traces of strong emotion were visible on his features. `You have conquered, my friends,' he said in broken accents. `It was, to be sure, but a small thing that I asked-- merely leave to blossom and expand for yet one more evening, to let myself go and hear the tumultuous applause that always seems to me--somehow--to bring out my best qualities. However, you are right, I know, and I am wrong. Hence forth I will be a very different Toad. My friends, you shall never have occasion to blush for me again. But, O dear, O dear, this is a hard world!'
And, pressing his handkerchief to his face, he left the room, with faltering footsteps.
`Badger,' said the Rat, `_I_ feel like a brute; I wonder what YOU feel like?'
`O, I know, I know,' said the Badger gloomily. `But the thing had to be done. This good fellow has got to live here, and hold his own, and berespected. Would you have him a common laughing- stock, mocked and jeered at by stoats and weasels?'
`Of course not,' said the Rat. `And, talking of weasels, it's lucky we came upon that little weasel, just as he was setting out with Toad's invitations. I suspected something from what you told me, and had a look at one or two; they were simply disgraceful. I confiscated the lot, and the good Mole is now sitting in the blue boudoir, filling up plain, ****** invitation cards.'
* * * * *
At last the hour for the banquet began to draw near, and Toad, who on leaving the others had retired to his bedroom, was still sitting there, melancholy and thoughtful. His brow resting on his paw, he pondered long and deeply. Gradually his countenance cleared, and he began to smile long, slow smiles. Then he took to giggling in a shy, self-conscious manner. At last he got up, locked the door, drew the curtains across the windows, collected all the chairs in the room and arranged them in a semicircle, and took up his position in front of them, swelling visibly. Then he bowed, coughed twice, and, letting himself go, with uplifted voice he sang, to the enraptured audience that his imagination so clearly saw,TOAD'S LAST LITTLE SONG!
The Toad--came--home! There was panic in the parlours and bowling in the halls, There was crying in the cow-sheds and shrieking in the stalls, When the Toad--came--home!
When the Toad--came--home! There was smashing in of window and crashing in of door, There was chivvying of weasels that fainted on the floor, When the Toad--came--home!
Bang! go the drums! The trumpeters are tooting and the soldiers are saluting, And the cannon they are shooting and the motor-cars are hooting, As the--Hero--comes!
Shout--Hoo-ray! And let each one of the crowd try and shout it very loud, In honour of an animal of whom you're justly proud, For it's Toad's-- great--day!
