GEOFFREY You and I have been friends ever since we were boys. You rather like me, don't you?
ST. HERBERT[Puzzled.]Yes.
GEOFFREY If I were to suddenly hit you on the nose, what would happen?
ST. HERBERT I understand. Woman has suddenly started hitting man on the nose. Her excuse being that she really couldn't keep her hands off him any longer.
JAWBONES [He has pinned the poster to the wall.] They begun it. To 'ear them talk, you'd think as man had never done anything right.
GEOFFREY He's quite right. Their posters are on every hoarding: "Who's made all the Muddles? Man!" "Men's Promises! Why, it's all Froth!""Woman this Time!" I suppose it will have to go.
JAWBONES[Hopefully.]Up, sir?
GEOFFREYNo, Jawbones.Into the dust-heap with the rest. [JAWBONES is disgusted.GINGER is triumphant.]
GEOFFREYI must talk to Sigsby.He's taking the whole thing tooseriously.It will be some time before we reach that stage.[To JAWBONES.]Ask Mrs. Chinn to bring me a cup of tea.
[JAWBONES goes out.]
[He seats himself at table and takes up some correspondence. To GINGER.] Are you waiting for any one?
GINGER A letter from her ladyship. [She picks up from the desk and hands him the letter SIGSBY had thrown there.] Her ladyship thought you ought to be consulted.
GEOFFREY [He reads the short letter with a gathering frown--hands it across to ST. HERBERT.]
ST. HERBERT[Having read, he passes it back in silence.]
GEOFFREY [To GINGER.] Do you know the contents of this letter?
GINGERThe matter has been discussed among us--informally. GEOFFREYTell Lady Mogton I'll--talk to her myself on the subject.
GINGER Thank you. [She collects her etceteras.] Good afternoon.GEOFFREY [Shortly.] Good afternoon.
GINGER [She bows graciously to ST. HERBERT, who responds. Goes out.]
GEOFFREYThe devil of it is that it's the truth.
ST. HERBERTSomebody was bound to say it, sooner or later!
GEOFFREY Yes, but one's own wife! This is a confoundedly awkward situation.
ST. HERBERT [He comes to him, stands looking down at him.] Did it never occur to you, when you were advocating equal political rights for women, that awkward situations might arise?
GEOFFREY [He leans back in his chair.] Do you remember Tommy the Terrier, as they used to call him in the House--was always preaching Socialism?
ST. HERBERTQuite the most amusing man I ever met!
GEOFFREY And not afraid of being honest. Do you remember his answer when somebody asked him what he would do if Socialism, by any chance, really became established in England?He had just married anAmerican heiress. He said he should emigrate. I am still convinced that woman is entitled to equal political rights with man. I didn't think it was coming in my time. There are points in the problem remaining to be settled before we can arrive at a working solution. This is one of them. [He takes up the letter and reads.] "Are you prepared to have as your representative a person who for six months out of every year may be incapacitated from serving you?" It's easy enough to say I oughtn't to allow my supporters to drag in the personal element. I like it even less myself. But what's the answer?
[JAWBONES enters with a tray.]
JAWBONES [Places tray on table.] Tea's coming in a minute, sir. [He is clearing away.]
GEOFFREY Never mind all that. [He hands him a slip.] Take this to the printers. Tell them I must have a proof to-night.
JAWBONESYes, sir.[Finds his cap and goes out.]
ST. HERBERT The answer, I should say, would be that the majority of women will continue to find something better to do. The women who will throw themselves into politics will be the unattached women, the childless women. [In an instant he sees his mistake, but it is too late.]
GEOFFREY [He rises, crosses to the desk, throws into a waste- paper-basket a piece of crumpled paper that was in his hand; then turns. The personal note has entered into the discussion.] The women who WANT to be childless--what about them?
ST. HERBERT[He shrugs his shoulders.]Are there any such?
GEOFFREY There are women who talk openly of woman's share in the general scheme being a "burden" on her--an "incubus."ST. HERBERT A handful of cranks. To the normal woman motherhood has always been the one supreme desire.
GEOFFREY Because children crowned her with honour. The barren woman was despised. All that is changing. This movement is adding impulse to it.
ST. HERBERTMovements do not alter instincts.
GEOFFREYBut they do.Ever since man emerged from the junglehe has been shedding his instincts--shaping them to new desires. Where do you find this all-prevailing instinct towards maternity? Among the women of society, who sacrifice it without a moment's hesitation to their vanity-- to their mere pleasures? The middle- class woman--she, too, is demanding "*******." Children, servants, the home!--they are too much for her "nerves." And now there comes this new development, appealing to the intellectual woman. Is there not danger of her preferring political ambition, the excitement of public life, to what has come to be regarded as the "drudgery" of turning four walls into a home, of peopling the silence with the voices of the children? [He crosses to the table- -lays his hand again upon the open letter.] How do you know that this may not be her answer--"I have no children. I never mean to have children"?
[SIGSBY enters in company with BEN LAMB, M.P.LAMB is a short, thick-set, good-tempered man.]
Ah, Lamb, how are you?
LAMB[They greet one another.]How are things going? SIGSBYThey're not going at all well.
GEOFFREYSigsby was ever the child of despondency.
SIGSBYYes, and so will you be when you find yourself at the bottom of the poll.
GEOFFREY[The notion takes him by surprise.]
LAMB It's going to be a closer affair than any of us thought. It's the joke of the thing that appears to have got hold of them. They want to see what will happen.
GEOFFREYMan's fatal curiosity concerning the eternal feminine!
SIGSBYYes, and they won't have to pay for it.That will be our department.
