Anonymous
痛苦和成长
心灵寄语
故天将降大任于斯人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨，饿其体肤，空乏其身，行拂乱其所为，所以动心忍性，曾益其所不能。
——孟子
Looking back over my life，it seems to me that I have learned the most when I felt the greatest pain。My mother’s death，for example，made me more profoundly1aware of the
beauty in nature。My capacity for finding joy in the most ordinary events（watching a flower open，leaves turning red，a bird taking a bath）seems to deepen each time I live through great sorrow。Death makes life more precious2；frustration makes success more fulfilling；failure makes the next accomplishment more meaningful。
In order to feel deeply it is necessary to feel everything。It is impossible to choose。You can’t really know how great is your sense of joy at a baby’s birth or your satisfaction at succeeding at a hard job unless you are also deeply aware of the anguish3of separation and the pain of failure。It’s through the capacity to feel that we discover ourselves and others and explore the potential for a full，significant life。
This is an especially crucial4issue for parents。Our natural inclination5is to try to protect children from pain。We have the mistaken notion that if a child is happy we are doing a good job；if a child is sad we are failing as parents。But giving children the message that happy is good and sad is terrible decreases their capacity to explore the full range of human experiences。
Children need to understand that suffering，frustration and failure are not only inevitable6but helpful。The parent who took a simple puzzle7away from a four-year old-because“he gets too upset and frustrated when he can’t get it right immediately，”—did the child a great disservice8.Children need to experience such feelings as they grow up；it helps them to develop the patience，persistence and ability to cope that they’ll need when a scientific experiment fails，or a low grade is received after diligent study。There is nothing so terrible about failing and feeling pain；what hurts in the long run is not trying because of the fear of pain。
佚名
回首我的一生，我发现极大的痛苦往往带给我最大的启示。比如，母亲的去世让我更深刻地意识到珍惜大自然的美好。每当我经受一次刻骨铭心的痛苦，似乎增强了自己在生活中发现快乐的能力（比如，观察花儿开放，树叶变红，小鸟沐浴）。死亡使生命显得格外珍贵；挫败使成功显得更加完整；失败使下一次成就显得更有意义。
为了更加深刻的感受，有必要感受一切。感受不是可供选择的。倘若你没有亲身体会到离别的悲伤，又怎么能真正感受到婴儿降生时的狂喜？假如你没有深切体会到失败的痛苦，又怎么能真正领悟到成功地完成一项艰巨任务之后的满足感？我们在感受之中发现自己和他人，探索完满而有意义的人生。
这是一个考验父母的尤为关键的问题。保护自己的孩子免受痛苦是做父母的本能。我们持有一个错误的观念，那就是只要孩子快乐，我们就是好父母；而要是让孩子受一点罪，就是失败的父母。然而，向孩子传递“幸福是美好的、不幸是糟糕”的信息，无疑会减弱他们全面探索、获取人生经验的能力。
我们要让孩子们明白苦楚、挫折和失败的经历不但是难以避免的，而且是大有裨益的。那些拿走四岁孩子手中的拼图玩具，担心“他一时做不好就会伤心苦恼”的父母，无疑害了自己的孩子。孩子们在成长过程中必须要经历这些感受，这样有助于培养孩子的耐心、毅力和能力，让他们将来在科学实验失败时，或是勤奋学习后却没有得高分时，都能够泰然处之。经历失败和感受痛苦并没有什么可怕之处。用长远的眼光来看，真正可怕的是一个人只因害怕感受痛苦而不去尝试。
V
词汇空间
ocabulary
1.profoundly adv。 深切地，深刻地
2.precious adj。 宝贵的，珍贵的
3.anguish n。（尤指心理上的）极度的痛苦
4.crucial adj。 关键的
5.inclination n。 倾向，趋势
6.inevitable adj。 不可避免的
7.puzzle n。 智力拼图游戏
8.disservice n。 伤害，虐待
文化链接
Culture Background
何谓挫折
从心理学上分析，人的行为总是从一定的动机出发，经过努力达到一定的目标。如果在实现目标的过程中，碰到了困难，遇到了障碍，就产生了挫折。挫折会产生各种各样的行为，表现在心理上、生理上会有反应。遭受严重挫折后，个人会在情绪上表现抑郁、消极、愤懑；在生理上，会表现血压升高、心跳加快易诱发心血管疾病；胃酸分泌减少、会导致溃疡、胃穿孔等。总之，个人的挫折会产生反常行为。
妙语拾珠
1.Death makes life more precious；frustration makes success more fulfilling，failure makes the next accomplishment more meaningful。
死亡使生命显得格外珍贵；挫败使成功显得更加完整；失败使下一次成就显得更有意义。
2.Children need to understand that suffering，frustration and failure are not only inevitable but helpful。
我们要让孩子们明白苦楚、挫折和失败的经历不但是难以避免的，而且是大有裨益的。
